The Christmas Charade | 2024 Christmas Movies

As usual with Hallmark movies, I have no idea what the title The Christmas Charade means. The channel has tried to cram commercials for it down my throat as I watch other movies but I immediately skip them. Is that going to bite me in the butt?

Josh (Corey Sevier) is an undercover FBI agent working on a string of recent heists. When he learns that the next target is a necklace called The Heart of Christmas, he immediately goes into action to prepare for the Christmas Eve charity ball that will feature the necklace. A female FBI agent was supposed to play his girlfriend but there was a mix-up and Whitney (Rachel Skarsten), a risk-averse elementary school librarian, is forced to team up with him instead.

I’ll admit that I am not the biggest fan of Corey Sevier. I find a lot of his roles to be cheesy or annoying. In this case, his character is already aloof and emotionally unavailable so there isn’t really much to screw up. On the other hand, Rachel Skarsten is pretty good at playing the weird nerdy girl. I would have liked to have seen a little more of rebellion against her parents that started in the beginning but that is on the writer not the actor. (While writing this review, I found out that the writer of the movie is married to Sevier, who also directed it. Things make a lot more sense now.)

The Christmas Charade is fine. The big heist is a little boring. Though I did not see the twist with the identity of the thief. I just wish there was a little more oopmh to the main characters. It definitely would have made it more interesting.

Rating: Maybe don’t jump off the roof.

Christmas Plus One | 2023 Christmas Movies

Lifetime has finally joined the Christmas movie fray with Christmas Plus One. And, of course, it’s another Corey Sevier movie. I just can’t get rid of him, can I?

Sisters Cara (Emily Alatalo) and Amy (Vanessa Smythe) make a Christmas wish every year. This year they both wished to meet their soulmates. One year later, Cara is on her way back to New York City to get ready for Cara’s Christmas wedding. She catches a ride with Chase (Andrew Bushell), who she clicks with immediately. However, the two can’t seem to reconnect when they reach the city. As she searches for Chase, Cara helps writer Michael (Corey Sevier) with his Christmas article.

Usually, I get annoyed at the major plotline of these movies. Instead, it’s the wedding B plot that annoys me. Amy has met her soulmate, dated, got engaged, and planned a wedding all within one year. She barely knows the man! Either the movie should have had the engagement happen at Christmas or just meeting the family. I know these movies are unrealistic but it is extremely unrealistic to have a full relationship and wedding within one year. I hate it.

As for the actual plot, it’s fine. It’s the usual conflict of main characters not having an actual conversation and Cara not doing anything besides wandering around New York City to find Chase. When she finally does something (leaving a random picture of her and Michael on a Christmas tree at a sales lot), it is stupid. She doesn’t ever ask anyone if they have seen Chase and she keeps following random men wearing red scarves even though she knows that Chase no longer has his red scarf. I think I might hate this whole movie.

Rating: Hide and Seek Loser

Everything Christmas | 2023 Christmas Movies

It is interesting that something called Everything Christmas is about a road trip rather than someone trying to stuff Christmas into every aspect of their life. But, as we all know, I don’t name these things. I just wish I did.

LJ (Cindy Busby) goes on a three-day road trip with her friend, Tori (Katherine Barrell). Their destination is a town where it is always Christmas but they have a special tree-decorating ceremony on Christmas Eve. On their way, they meet Zack (Corey Sevier) and Jason (Matt Wells). Will LJ forgo her Christmas promise to her late grandmother in favor for following her heart?

Hallmark is pretty good at movies that are just OK. Everything Christmas is one of those. I’m not quite sure how Corey Sevier became one of Hallmark’s leading men. Maybe because he has this goofy sort of good guy look? He’s kinda terrible at acting and he makes me cringe when he’s on the screen. Thankfully, he frequently gets paired up with women that can carry the movie for him. Cindy Busby isn’t amazing here but she more than makes up for everyone else. The best part of the movie is probably George Masswohl as Kris Kringle. I just wish there was a little more of him to go around.

Rating: Just some things Christmas

Christmas On Mistletoe Lake | 2022 Christmas Movies

It is now time for our second Corey Sevier Christmas movie of the season. First we had Noel Next Door, where he played a grumpy composer. Now we have Christmas On Mistletoe Lake, where he plays a grumpy boat owner. OK, I’m not really sure what his character does for money in this movie. Let’s just get into it.

Reilly (Genelle Williams) is an interior designer heading to Mistletoe Lake for Christmas. The local bed and breakfast is completely booked so she ends up staying on a boat owned by Ray (Corey Sevier), who she met in the town general store. Over the next few days, Reilly falls in love with the town and with Ray. But will the financial troubles of both ruin what she has fallen in love with?

This movie is so weirdly written. Parts of it are really sweet but there are lines that no one would ever actually say that. In the beginning, Emma (Hattie Kragten), Ray’s teenage daughter, within minutes of meeting Reilly says to her “Why aren’t you celebrating Christmas with your boyfriend or husband or whatever?” Who says that? Definitely not a teenager. And there are a few other places like that throughout the movie. It sucked me right out of any enjoyment I was having.

Another thing I disliked about the movie is the conflict. Ray is selling his boat to Louis (Robin Dunne), who happens to be one of Reilly’s former clients. While Ray wants to keep the boat as is, Louis wants to hire Reilly to change absolutely everything. Instead of telling Ray about it, Reilly keeps the information to herself. Of course, this mean Ray gets pissed off at her. A better conflict would have been if Reilly told Ray the situation and the two of them teamed up against Louis. Reilly and Ray had already kissed at this point so we weren’t waiting for the will-they-won’t-they. Having the main couple team up against the bad guy would have made Christmas on Mistletoe Lake such a cool and different movie. But, no, we got the usual boring trope.

On one hand, I want to recommend Mistletoe Lake. Genelle Williams is an amazing actress. My husband and I loved her in Warehouse 13 back in the late 2000s/early 2010s. However, this is not a great movie. Maybe watch it if you have nothing else to do. But don’t plan an entire night around watching it.

Noel Next Door | 2022 Christmas Movies

The 2022 Christmas movie season has started! We’re starting the season with Hallmark Channel’s Noel Next Door. And, yes, of course the title is a pun on the main character’s name.

Noelle (Natalie Hall) is a divorced single mom to Henry (Callum Shoniker). While waitressing at a local diner, she meets Jeremy (Corey Sevier), a stroke survivor. The two hit it off but little does Noelle know that Jeremy is the neighbor that has been terrorizing the neighborhood with his anti-Christmas ways. Will they be able to reconcile their differences?

I’m not sure if it’s because this is the first Christmas movie of the season or if it was actually good but I quite enjoyed Noel Next Door. Usually, I find all of Corey Sevier’s characters unbearably annoying. This time around, he manages to somehow combine the “annoyed at life” and “charming leading man” types somewhat smoothly. I think my only complaint for him is that he is a little inconsistent with his character physicality. I know that not all stroke survivors have the same issues afterward. He just needs to decide when his limbs will and won’t work for him.

As for Natalie Hall, I think most of the time she chooses terrible scripts. She is frequently cast as a cardboard cutout of a woman that has zero personality. In Noel Next Door, her character has a little more depth to her. It nice to see the change since I don’t think Hall is a bad actress. She just makes bad decisions when it comes to Christmas movies.

While I think that Noel Next Door is a very watchable movie, it isn’t particularly groundbreaking. We still have the “one person hates Christmas, the other person will fix that” trope. But it isn’t the main point of the movie and I think that is what makes it better. The movie focuses more on the relationships than it does the holiday. That is almost always a win in my book.

It Takes A Christmas Village | 2021 Christmas Movies

Now I remember why Christmas movies drive me crazy every year. It’s rare to get both a good story and good acting. A lot of times we get decent acting with a terrible story. But, sometimes, we are given movies like It Takes A Christmas Village, which has a good story but it is ruined by terrible acting.

Alex (Brooke Nevin) is the mayor of a small town. When road construction threatens the local businesses, she decides to put together a Christmas market to help boost sales. The best location she can find is a closed mill owned by the town recluse, Darcy Hawkins (Corey Sevier). Can Alex convince Darcy to let her rent the space from him?

The mayor-saves-local-business isn’t a rare storyline in Christmas movies. Christmas Village somehow managed to make it feel fresh and new. Maybe it’s the interactions with the shop owners, maybe it’s that we get to see a little more of Alex actually planning the Christmas market, or maybe it’s just because the female lead is the mayor. It doesn’t much matter why it feels like a new story, it just does.

Unfortunately, where the movie falls apart is the acting. Corey Sevier, who also directs Christmas Village, has the charisma of a piece of cardboard. I have watched a couple of Christmas movies with him as the male lead (and the director!) and they have all been awful. While I haven’t seen as many of Nevin’s Christmas movies (most of hers were before I started the Great Christmas Movie Review project), I have seen some of her other works. She isn’t bad but she isn’t memorable either. I think she might have had a chance here if she wasn’t paired with Sevier.

Wait…wait. After a bit of serious Googling, I have found what the problem is. Corey Sevier is married to the scriptwriter, Kate Pragnell. That is how he keeps getting these terrible roles. Well, much like their other joint Christmas venture, Heart of the Holidays, don’t bother to watch this one. Christmas Village isn’t as bad but it’s definitely not worth your time.

Heart of the Holidays | 2020 Christmas Movies

I think maybe I need to figure out some sort of BAD ranking. Like, boring is a 1 but an awful script is 8 or something. It might make it easier to decide just how bad a movie is.

Sam (Vanessa Lengies) finally got the job she wanted. On her first day, she finds out that her boyfriend, Will’s (René Escobar Jr), company bought her new company and fired a lot of the staff. Feeling weird that he saved her job, Sam immediately quits and goes back to her hometown, where she reconnects with her high school sweetheart, Noah (Corey Sevier).

Heart of the Holidays is a mess. At the beginning of the movie, Sam is a whiz at planning things. I didn’t even realize that she worked in the financial industry because she was so busy planning things. (I think she was supposed to be convincing the guy replacing her to work for the company? I’m not really sure what she was doing.) But when she moves home, she is terrible at everything…except planning a pop-up food bank on Christmas Eve. I think that the writers wanted her to be a “hometown girl finds that community is important” character or something. That doesn’t really come through. She talks about how she wanted to work with charities but then she became a stockbroker? Her character makes no sense.

The plot isn’t all that different. It wants to be “big city girl returns to small hometown to find she still loves her hunky ex-boyfriend.” While that does happen, it goes about it the wrong way. The writers tried to throw in another woman, Marina (Tina Jung), to tempt Noah away….but at no point does it feel like those two would ever be a couple. It feels like this was written by high schoolers.

Seriously, Hallmark. Step up your game. No one should watch this movie. As a matter of fact, can I unwatch it?

Advent Day #6: A Star For Christmas

Is this a record? It’s only Day Six of this project and I have already watched the worst “Christmas” movie on my list. It’s so bad that I actually may need to add another rule so that I don’t have to watch anything like this again.

A Star For Christmas is another 2012 movie made by Mar Vista Entertainment. (Actually, I’m not sure if it’s Mar Vista or Marvista or MarVista as I have seen it written all three ways.) Love For Christmas was the first of their movies that I watched. As you will recall, also terrible. I think I may need to ban Mar Vista movies from the project, lest I go insane before Christmas Day.

I’m going to give you a little synopsis but, keep in mind, it doesn’t make any goddamn sense. Cassie (Briana Evigan) is a baker in a small town. Because her cupcakes are SO AMAZING, she gets hired as the exclusive craft services treat supplier? The star of the movie, Alex Gray (Corey Sevier), stops by Cassie’s cupcake shop and falls in love with her? They start dating but Alex’s ex-girlfriend, Skylar Saint Jean (Brooke Burns), tries to break them up? Then, um, love?

I wish I was lying when I said this movie didn’t make any sense. Cassie is a TERRIBLE businesswoman. In the first ten minutes of the movie, she literally sells a dozen cupcakes for $6.95 then throws in an extra Santa cupcake because she knew the customer would want it. I want to know where she lives that she can afford to sell her cupcakes for that cheap and still make money. Later in the movie, she claims that she makes all of her money for the year at Christmastime. Girl, you have an actual store with rent and electricity and all that. Don’t ask me to believe that you sell so many cupcakes in December that it can pay for the store plus pay Tricia (Karissa Vacker), your best friend/employee, for an entire YEAR. Also, your store is called Cassie’s Cupcakery. Who let you do that?

Then there is this movie thing. Cassie doesn’t own a television, therefore she knows nothing about the outside world! She has never heard of this super famous actor, who is apparently all over the tabloids. Apparently, she doesn’t read newspapers either. But she does use the internet! Once they start dating, she is all over the paparazzi sites reading dirt on him and getting jealous over it. Even if I suspend some disbelief, allowing her to not know who Alex is, she goes batshit crazy throughout the movie. She’ll be making out with them, then suddenly ask him why he’s doing things for her (BECAUSE YOU MAKE OUT WITH HIM), then she’s running away because he can’t possibly like her, then she sleeping with him. It feels like they filmed all of these scenes then put them together out of order. Like the script was written so she didn’t act like a lunatic but the editor or director messed up the order of the scenes so she looks insane.

Two more things that I hate about this movie: 1. Craft Service Dessert Tables aren’t a thing. Especially not on an ‘action Christmas movie.’ Craft services is a table with snacks (like vegetable trays or muffin trays or something) where the cast/crew can grab a quick bite in between scenes. Cupcakes don’t really fall into that category. 2. There is a running joke that the friends (Cassie, Tricia, and Cassie’s brother Zack) don’t know how to pronounce Skylar’s last name. Is it John? Is it French like Ghawn? But no one ASKS her. And I think they actually pronounce her name different ways TO HER FACE. Then, at the end of the movie, there is a voiceover promo for the in-movie-movie and the announcer says her name is Gee-Ann. Get out of here.

I wanted to like this movie. It had a baker (though I was hoping she was Melissa Joan Hart…she’s another one of my Christmas bucket list actors) and…well, it was really just the baker part that made me want to like it. Instead, it almost made me throw my remote at the screen. So, I’m officially changing the rules now. No more Mar Vista (or Marvista or MarVista) movies. Especially if they are from 2012. That was a terrible year for them. I may need to do a little more research before I watch a movie but I think it will save my sanity in the end.