Finally, the time has come. The time that everyone has been looking forward to. My list of the worst Christmas movies of 2020.

10. A Nashville Christmas Carol - Just when you thought that no one could ruin Charles Dickens’ classic, Hallmark said “hold my beer.”
9. Christmas Comes Twice - Poor Tamera. She needs a better manager.
8. The Christmas Listing - Who thought real estate was exciting enough for a Christmas movie?
7. Christmas at the Castle - I wonder how many Scotsmen were offended by this movie.
6. Heart of the Holidays - Your leading lady can’t be both a genius and incompetent. Pick one.
5. The Christmas Aunt - The movie with the dumbest plot of the season.
4. My Sweet Holiday - NO MORE MONTAGES!
3. A Taste of Christmas - There should be at least one likeable character in your Christmas romance movie.
2. A California Christmas - Death everywhere.
1. A New York Christmas Wedding - I still don’t know what the plot of this movie was.

There you have it: the ten worst Christmas movies of the season. The other 66 movies I watched were fairly middle of the road. They were either boring or just OK. I think that the channels should focus less on the number of movies they show each year and pay more attention to airing good movies instead. The Hallmark Channel aired 24 Christmas movies, Hallmark Movies & Mysteries aired 16, Netflix had 11 (plus 4 I haven’t watched), Hulu had 1, and Lifetime outdid everyone with a whopping 34 Christmas movies! Imagine if they took all of the money spent on all of these and put out a handful of really awesome movies. They can still air their back catalog, like they do now, but I think everyone would be so much happier if the holiday movies they offered were amazing instead of intolerable.

I think maybe I need to figure out some sort of BAD ranking. Like, boring is a 1 but an awful script is 8 or something. It might make it easier to decide just how bad a movie is.

Sam (Vanessa Lengies) finally got the job she wanted. On her first day, she finds out that her boyfriend, Will’s (René Escobar Jr), company bought her new company and fired a lot of the staff. Feeling weird that he saved her job, Sam immediately quits and goes back to her hometown, where she reconnects with her high school sweetheart, Noah (Corey Sevier).

Heart of the Holidays is a mess. At the beginning of the movie, Sam is a whiz at planning things. I didn’t even realize that she worked in the financial industry because she was so busy planning things. (I think she was supposed to be convincing the guy replacing her to work for the company? I’m not really sure what she was doing.) But when she moves home, she is terrible at everything…except planning a pop-up food bank on Christmas Eve. I think that the writers wanted her to be a “hometown girl finds that community is important” character or something. That doesn’t really come through. She talks about how she wanted to work with charities but then she became a stockbroker? Her character makes no sense.

The plot isn’t all that different. It wants to be “big city girl returns to small hometown to find she still loves her hunky ex-boyfriend.” While that does happen, it goes about it the wrong way. The writers tried to throw in another woman, Marina (Tina Jung), to tempt Noah away….but at no point does it feel like those two would ever be a couple. It feels like this was written by high schoolers.

Seriously, Hallmark. Step up your game. No one should watch this movie. As a matter of fact, can I unwatch it?