Private Princess Christmas | 2024 Christmas Movies

Hallmark has given us another royal Christmas movie but Private Princess Christmas has a bit of a twist to it. It sounds interesting. But is it actually interesting?

Violet (Ali Skovbye) is the princess of Wingravia. She loves all of the perks of being a princess but hates all of the responsibilities. After disappointing her mother, the Queen (Erica Durance), one too many times, Violet gets sent to a boot camp that specializes in turning spoiled brats into leaders.

While Private Princess Christmas did have a fresh plotline (at least for Christmas movies), I don’t think it was executed very well. First off, Ryan (Derek Klena), the soldier in charge of the boot camp, is way too easy on the cadets. Boot camp is supposed to be difficult. That is why it’s boot camp. And we’re talking about a boot camp for spoiled brats. Why would you give into anything they wanted? Instead of being strict and following the rules exactly, Ryan gave in and let them basically do whatever they wanted. Even when they broke the rules of their given tasks, there was no consequence. What was the point of sending anyone there?

Second, the entire reason that Violet was acting out and the Queen (who never actually gets a name) is so distant with her daughter is because the King passed away earlier in the year. So both of them are grieving and ignoring each other. They don’t need boot camp, they need therapy!

There was so much potential for this movie. There are plenty of fish-out-of-water movies where someone gets sent to boot camp to become a better person and those are witty and funny and enjoyable. This was none of those. And I actually wanted to like this one.

Rating: Is there a rank lower than private?

A Scottish Love Scheme (2024)

Hallmark must really have a thing for Scotland now. In 2021, there was A Castle For Christmas. 2023 was A Merry Scottish Christmas. And now they gave us A Scottish Love Scheme. How many Hallmark movies can Scotland handle?

Lily (Erica Durance) has recently left her job marketing for a family brewery. Now she has time to take a mother-daughter trip to Scotland with her mom, Cait (Jo Cameron Brown), to visit their friends, the Campbells. While they are there, Cait schemes with her old friend, Mairi (Juliet Cadzow), to set Lily up with Mairi’s son, Logan (Jordan Young).

For a movie that claims to be about schemes, there isn’t a lot of scheming going on. Unless you want to count Mairi telling Logan that he should take Lily to dinner at a specific restaurant a “scheme.” I think schemes are supposed to be kinda secret, right? With the exception of one instance toward the beginning of the movie, Cait and Mairi must think their kids are pretty stupid to not realize what they are doing. Then again, Lily and Logan never say anything about it so maybe they are stupid…

If we look beyond the unschemey schemes, the rest of the movie is just fine. A little boring, as usual, but there is nothing particularly offensive about it. Everything just takes a very long time to happen. I would have liked it a little more if Cait and Mairi were a little more sneaky about what they were doing. Maybe make this a bit more of a mystery romance instead. Well, at least we got some really pretty shots of Scotland.

Rating: B-

Ms Christmas Comes To Town | 2023 Christmas Movies

The Hallmark Movies & Mysteries channel really likes movies that are somehow related to death. A long-deceased family member or a spouse that recently passed. That is their bread and butter. Well, Ms. Christmas Comes To Town doesn’t disappoint on that end.

Gale (Barbara Niven), also known as Ms. Christmas on a popular shopping channel, has been diagnosed with a terminal illness. Before she retires, she goes on a multi-city tour to spread Christmas cheer. Joining her are Amanda (Erica Durance), who will be taking over the Ms. Christmas mantle, and Travis (Brennan Elliott), a nurse tasked with taking care of her health.

I am really not sure why they needed to include a cancer diagnosis in this movie. It puts this dark cloud over everything because Gale refuses to tell anyone that she has terminal cancer yet it is the reason for everything she does. The writers could have easily gone with a simple retirement. The big tour could have still been a retirement tour, just without the cancer! Travis could have still been hired to go to keep an eye on her. It could have been a joyful passing of the torch instead of a depression party.

As for the romance? It is barely there. I didn’t really understand why they got together. Maybe I missed something but their relationship read “co-worker” to me. Even after they kissed, they didn’t seem like they were in love with each other. I’m not really sure any of the characters even liked each other. They were all very weird.

Rating: Can you really replace Ms. Christmas with Ms. Holiday?

We Need A Little Christmas | 2022 Christmas Movies

Wow. We have already reached the dead spouse/parent portion of our Christmas movies. I thought that maybe Hallmark would wait awhile before their aired their sad movies. I guess I was wrong.

Julie (Erica Durance) is a newly widowed mother to Gavin (Azriel Dalman). The two have moved into a new home and are trying to navigate the holiday season without their loved one. While at Christmas camp, Gavin meets their neighbor Irene (Lynn Whitfield). With Irene’s help, Gavin learns how to share his emotions and be supportive of his mother. Meanwhile, Julie is trying to keep her decorating company afloat. She takes on a new job redesigning a restaurant owned by Peter (Patrick Sabongui). He helps Julie open up and accept help during these difficult times.

We Need A Little Christmas is kinda on the depressing side of things. Julie lost her husband, Gavin lost his dad, and Irene will be spending Christmas alone because her military grandson can’t come make it home for the holiday. Almost everyone in the movie is just sad. Thankfully, Irene has a little insight on how to trudge through the sad times. Oh, did I forget to mention that her husband is also dead? Yeah, this movie has a lot of death in it. To be honest, Irene is probably the best character in the movie. Though she feels like she’s supposed to be some sort of guardian angel type and not an actual person. I kept waiting for there to be some sort of “magic” on her side that would bring everything together. There wasn’t but there felt like there should have been.

The problem with movies on the Hallmark Movies & Mystery channel is that none of them are bad. I mean, they aren’t good either. They are just boring. It would be easy to say “don’t watch this” if it’s bad. But when it’s boring, I don’t have a good excuse to tell you to not watch it. And WNALC is another movie that talks about Christmas but we don’t see a ton of Christmas happening. So, watch it if you have nothing else to do. Just be warned that nothing happens in the movie either. It’s a lot of talking with no follow through. Very dull.

The Enchanted Christmas Cake | 2021 Christmas Movies

My least favorite Christmas movies are the ones where everything could be solved if someone just asked a question. Why are people so averse to talking, especially to family members?

After her grandmother passed, Gwen (Erica Durance) took over her bakery. Unfortunately, the secret ingredient on her grandmother’s recipe for the Enchanted Christmas Cake was torn. As she struggles to figure out the missing piece, a celebrity chef comes to town to film a Christmas special. Gwen is pressured by the show’s producer, Gavin (Robin Dunne), to appear on the show to talk about the cake. Will Gwen be able to perfect her grandmother’s cake or will Christmas be ruined?

There are two big conflicts in The Enchanted Christmas Cake. One is figuring out the missing ingredient but the other is whether Gwen should give out the recipe once it’s completed. Both of these could have been solved if Gwen simply asked her grandfather. She seems to be pretty close to him so I have no idea why she never thought to ask him in the first place. If I was in her position, I would have immediately asked him if he knew what the ingredient was when I saw the rip on the recipe. If he didn’t know, my second question would have been if anyone else had the recipe. Of course, then the movie would have been over before it ever began.

Looking past the stupidity of the plot, the rest of the movie wasn’t too bad. Both Durance and Dunne are decent actors. Though I think the shining star here is Kyana Teresa as Gwen’s friend, Becky. She is a delight in every scene she is in.

The Enchanted Christmas Cake is worth watching if you can look over the gaping plot hole. Sadly, there doesn’t seem to be a ton of bakery-themed Christmas movies this year. So, if bakery movies are your thing, this may be your best bet for 2021.

Open By Christmas | 2021 Christmas Movies

Sometimes I don’t understand how Hallmark picks which movies to go on which channel. You would think that movies with a “mystery” type of plot would go on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries. But they don’t. Open By Christmas is an example of that.

When Nicky (Alison Sweeney) comes home for Thanksgiving, her parents tell her that they are selling her childhood home to move into a smaller house. As Nicky helps them pack, she finds an old unopened Christmas card in one of her high school textbooks. The card professes love for Nicky but it doesn’t have a signature. It’s up to Nicky and her best friend, Simone (Erica Durance), to figure out who slipped the card into the book so long ago.

This really could have been a good Christmas mystery movie. But instead of spending the majority of the movie trying to sleuth out who wrote the card, they spend more time focused on Simone’s fiancé, Jeremy (Michael Karl Richards), surprising Simone with a new house. They spend so much time on it that you would think that Simone is the main character in the movie. (And, seriously, who surprises someone by buying them a house? Don’t do that. It’s financially awful.)

As for the mystery itself? We only get a few hints as to who the writer could be. Thanks to the message in the card, Nicky and Simone surmise that the writer was on the basketball team. Nicky’s mom did some online searching and figured out that the person that wrote it is left-handed. Finally, Simone’s future mother-in-law actually recognizes the handwriting! But it doesn’t actually lead to the correct answer. It would have been nice if there was some more detective work shown. After all, it’s supposed to be the main plot of the movie!

Alas, the movie promises a lot but delivers little. This is yet another movie that is fine as background noise but if you actually pay attention, it’s lacking in substance. I know that Hallmark churns out a lot of movies. It would be nice if they could hire some good writers for once.