Salem's Lot (2024)

As I have said before, I never really watched a lot of horror movies before 2020. My husband, however, is a big fan. Especially of Stephen King books/movies/series. When he heard that a new ‘‘Salem’s Lot movie was coming out, he was very excited.

Ben Mears (Lewis Pullman) returns to his childhood hometown, Jerusalem’s Lot, to do some research on both his past and the town itself. Shortly after his arrival, children begin to go missing. With the help of some locals - town heartthrob Susan Norton (Makenzie Leigh), teacher Matthew Burke (Bill Camp), Father Callahan (John Benjamin Hickey, Dr. Cody (Alfre Woodard) and 11-year old Mark Petrie (Jordan Preston Carter) - Ben tries to rid ‘Salem’s Lot of the darkness that has arrived.

Since I am very unfamiliar with the book or either of the previous miniseries, I spent a lot of this movie asking my husband questions. While I found this version of ‘Salem’s Lot pretty enjoyable, there were some drawbacks. One character went unnamed until he appeared in a later bar scene. I even asked my husband “Oh, that’s this guy, right?” and he had to correct me. The movie is just under two hours long so some of the characters felt a little flat and some relationships felt rushed.

With that said, Mark Petrie is an absolutely kickass kid and I watched the entire movie just for him. I would watch a sequel that is just him going around fighting vampires. He would have to be a little older or get Ben to tag along but that’s OK. Sometimes kickass kids need dumb adults to help them get places.

‘Salem’s Lot wasn’t a super scary movie. Despite being a vampire movie, there wasn’t a lot of blood or scenes where I had to avert my eyes. If you are looking for something that isn’t going to give you nightmares or something on the tamer side of horror, this might be for you. Die-hard ‘Salem’s Lot fans may not like this movie very much but those of us that want to watch a King movie without losing sleep, this is the one you should go for.

Rating: B

V/H/S Beyond (2024)

For the past few years, I have been watching Shudder’s V/H/S franchise. In 2021, there was V/H/S/94, which was decently good. Then 2022 was V/H/S/99, which I liked better. While I didn’t review V/H/S/85 last year, I did watch it and enjoyed it. This year, it’s V/H/S/Beyond and it’s scifi themed. I can’t wait to talk about it.

The “through-story” framework for Beyond is set up as an alien abduction documentary. In between all of the movie segments, experts tell us about a family that suffered from alien and paranormal experiences. The first movie segment is “Stork,” where a police unit is tasked with breaching a house that may be the center in a string of disappearing babies. Despite the fact that they hunt monsters, the unit comes upon more than they expected to find. “Dream Girl” is the next segment. A couple of paparazzi are told they need to get footage of the latest Bollywood starlet. Unfortunately, she is not treated well by her management and lashes out in revenge. In “Live and Let Dive,” a group of friends is celebrating a 30th birthday by going skydiving. As they are having fun before the dive, a flying saucer appears in the sky next to their plane. Needless to say, their skydive did not happen the way they wanted. “Fur Babies” is probably the most disturbing of the segments. It is also the only one that doesn’t really fit the scifi/alien theme. A group of animal activists go to investigate a doggie daycare center. Little do they know that the owner of the center loves dogs much more than she likes humans. The last segment of Beyond is “Stowaway.” A woman is in the desert investigating possible alien encounters. She sees a light fall from the night sky, which leads her to an alien spaceship. Of course, she sneaks inside. Which is actually a terrible decision.

I know that I normally give you a much deeper description of each segment. However, of all of the movies in the V/H/S franchise that I have watched, Beyond is, by far, my favorite. I love the science fiction and alien themes that run through the segments. Thankfully, all of the V/H/S movies are standalone. You don’t need to have watched previous versions in order to understand newer releases. If you don’t watch any of the other movies in the series, you need to watch this one. You won’t regret it.

Rating: A+

It's What's Inside (2024)

The first Netflix horror movie I watched this season is It’s What’s Inside. To be honest, I forgot that it released on October 4. I just happened to be scrolling through Netflix and thought it looked interesting. But was it?

Shelby (Brittany O’Grady) has been trying to get her boyfriend, Cyrus (James Morosini), interested in her. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to be working. She wants to skip the party for their friend Reuben (Devon Terrell), who is getting married, but Cyrus insists they go. At the party, they meet up with all their friends - Dennis (Gavin Leatherwood), Maya (Nina Bloomgarden), Nikki (Alycia Debnam-Carey), and Brooke (Reina Hardesty). Surprisingly, their estranged friend from college, Forbes (David Thompson), also shows up. Forbes has brought a mysterious suitcase containing a strange machine. He hooks everyone up to the machine and turns it on, immediately making everyone swap bodies with each other. Chaos ensues as the group plays a game where they try to guess who is actually inside everyone’s bodies.

This was such an interesting premise. And I really wish the writers had done more with it. Sure, there were some people who were only interested in hooking up with people while they were in their friends’ bodies but there could have been so much more going on. Even the Big Problem that happens doesn’t really cause much drama on-screen. People should be more scared or angry or something but we only see a fraction of how they should feel.

One of my other problems was keeping track of who everyone was. Granted, this is the plot of the movie. You are supposed to lose track of who is who. It make the twist ending better. But since I barely knew the characters’ names to begin with, it was really hard for me to remember who was who. I would have liked maybe a subtitle instead of showing who was inside with a red filter scene. I can’t know who is who when I didn’t know who they were to begin with!

With all of this is mind, It’s What’s Inside wasn’t a terrible movie. I might actually watch it again to see if I can get more out of it. If you like movies that are a little confusing, this one could be for you.

Rating: B

Hold Your Breath (2024)

Generally, Hulu’s Halloween releases aren’t great. But I decided to take a look at Hold Your Breath anyway.

Oklahoma, 1933 - Margaret (Sarah Paulson) has been left alone with her children, Rose (Amiah Miller) and Ollie (Alona Jane Robbins), as her husband travels east. However, life is not going well. There hasn’t been rain in months, giant dust storms frequent the area, and Maragret’s mental health is deteriorating. When Margaret begins to believe that a malicious presence in the dust storms is threatening her small family, she does what she must to protect them.

Hold Your Breath is a very slow movie. This works well in psychological thrillers where there is an amazing payoff. Unfortunately, we don’t get that payoff here. Instead of getting a big bad, things just kinda fizzle out at the end. I don’t know about anyone else but I was left wanting more. Preferably for Rose to step up to protect her deaf younger sister. We get a little bit of that but not nearly enough. Though the movie does leave a little bit open for a sequel if Hulu decides one should happen. I hope they don’t.

Rating: C-

Apartment 7A (2024)

It is only recently that I started watching scary movies. Suffice it to say, I have never actually seen Rosemary’s Baby. But I do know the general plot. I figured this was enough to watch Apartment 7A, the prequel to Rosemary’s Baby.

Terry (Julia Garner) is a dancer who gets badly injured on stage. Four months later, she has healed enough to dance but no one will hire “the girl who fell.” With no income, she is forced out of her apartment. After another failed audition, she meets Minnie (Dianne Wiest) and Roman (Kevin McNally), an elderly couple who offer her an apartment for free. Shortly after moving in, she meets theater producer Leo (Andrew Buchan), who happens to live in the same building. She goes to talk to him about a role in one of his shows but finds herself losing consciousness. The next morning, Leo casts her as a dancer in his show and Terry begins to get everything she ever wanted. But she keeps having sudden bouts of illness. A doctor informs her that she is pregnant but weird things keep happening. It can’t possibly be what all of the rumors say, right?

Even though I have never seen Rosemary’s Baby, I didn’t have any problems keeping up with Apartment 7A. Granted, there are some references that I didn’t get but it wasn’t anything that kept me from enjoying the movie. While it did seem a little slow at times, I found myself coming back into the story with ease. As a psychological thriller, there was no gore - only a few scenes with bodily injuries and some blood. I appreciate movies like that. It gives me a break from the overly bloody movies I usually watch during the Halloween season. If you are looking for something a little more “thinky” and a little less “bloody,” this one may be for you.

Rating: B

The Deliverance (2024)

Since Shudder let me down, I moved over to Netflix to check out The Deliverance. Somehow, I missed hearing much of anything about this one. So let’s check it out.

Ebony Jackson (Andra Day), her mother - Alberta (Glenn Close), and her three children - Nate (Caleb McLaughlin), Shante (Demi Singleton), and Andre (Anthony B. Jenkins) have just moved into a new home. Sadly, they are plagued by a number of personal problems. Alberta has cancer and her insurance stopped covering her treatment. Ebony has a history of alcohol abuse and physically abusing her children. As a result, Child Protective Services caseworker Cynthia (Mo’Nique) has to check up on the family frequently. However, since they have moved to the new house, the children have been exhibiting a variety of strange behaviors. It isn’t until Bernice (Aunjanue Ellis-Taylor), a Pentecostal pastor, tells Ebony that a demon is after her children that things start to come together.

Normally, I’m not a big fan of demon possession movies. A lot of them come off as hokey or over the top. This one was actually pretty good. While it is based on a true story, there were so many holes in that story that it needed a movie to make it make sense. Thankfully, The Deliverance did a good job of bringing the story together in an interesting way that kept my attention the entire time. Every time I thought I would pick up my phone to scroll through social media, something else happened to drag me back in.

Rating: B

In A Violent Nature (2024)

There were a few horror movies that popped up on streaming services in September that seemed interesting. In A Violent Nature was one of the movies Shudder produced this year. I wish that meant the movie was good…

A group of friends take a locket from the remains of a fire tower. Unfortunately, this was the only thing keeping the corpse of Johnny (Ry Barrett), a developmentally disabled man who died when he fell from the fire tower, in the ground. Johnny rises, stumbling through the forest in search of the locket. And he is willing to kill anyone who gets in his way.

In A Violent Nature is the most boring horror movie I have ever seen. The movie is based on the idea of “what if we followed Jason through the Friday the 13th franchise instead of following the victims? The answer is “please don’t do that. It’s stupid.” There are so many long, drawn-out shots with no soundtrack (beyond the natural sounds of the forest) of Johnny walking through the woods. And most of the time, we only see the back of him. There is one shot where we see his face and, to be honest, I wish we didn’t get that shot.

Most of the kills are also boring. The only interesting kill is the woman doing yoga on a mountain. Feel free to turn the movie off after that one. It doesn’t get any better. I have seen people say these are the best, most innovative kills they have ever seen. They are straight up lying.

Do not watch Violent Nature. As a matter of fact, let’s try to erase it from existence instead.

Rating: F

I Saw The TV Glow (2024)

In 2022, I reviewed a movie titled We’re All Going To The World’s Fair. I hated it. It was actually my number 1 worst movie that year. According to some other reviews, I just didn’t get it. Anyway, the writer/director for that movie released another movie, I Saw The TV Glow, which isn’t a sequel but it is the second part of a trilogy they will be releasing. I’m not sure I got this one either.

Owen (Ian Foreman) is a lonely 7th grader who meets Maddy (Brigette Lundy-Paine), a 9th grader, while his mother is voting. Maddy is reading an episodic guide about The Pink Opaque, a late night television show aimed at young adults. Unfortunately, Owen’s father (Fred Durst) won’t let Owen watch the show claiming it is for girls. Owen lies to his mother and sneaks over to Maddy’s house to watch the latest episode. Two years later, Owen (Justice Smith) and Maddy have bonded over the show. Maddy tells Owen she is going to run away. She asks Owen to go with her but he bails at the last minute. Shortly after Maddy goes missing, The Pink Opaque is cancelled. Eight years later, Maddy reappears, telling Owen that she has been living inside the show. She tells him how she paid someone to bury her alive then she woke up as Tara, one of the show’s main characters. Again, she tries to get Owen to come with her but he doesn’t. Instead, his life continues until he has a breakdown at work.

After I finished I Saw The TV Glow, I felt the same way I did at the end of World’s Fair. Normally I don’t look up other movie reviews before I write mine because I don’t want to be influenced by their opinions. However, I did look up some reviews since I saw so many saying that people missed the point of World’s Fair. It seems that TV Glow is an allegory for being transgender. I am not in that community so perhaps that is why the point of the movie went over my head. If you are in the community and you have watched this movie, please let me know your thoughts about it. I would love to know if there were signs that I missed.

With all of that said, can I recommend TV Glow? For me, the movie was extremely slow. I can’t say that I got a lot of enjoyment out of it. Perhaps I just shouldn’t watch any more Jane Schoenbrun movies. They don’t seem to be for me.

Rating: C

Happy Spooky Season!

Scary season has come upon us again! Once again, I will be reviewing 31 horror/suspense movies for the entire month of October. Also, starting October 19, I will be posting the 13-day Halloween advent calendar from XO Marshmallow over on my Instagram. Let the scares commence!

#AMFAD: All My Friends Are Dead (2024)

#AMFAD: All My Friends Are Dead appeared on my radar because it claimed to star JoJo Siwa. I’m not sure that I would say she stars in it. It’s really more like a feature. Well, let’s go…

A friends group, mostly made up of internet influencers, is heading to a music festival. On the way, their van breaks down. Police officer Shaw (Michaella Russell) happens past and recommends the group find someplace to stay because their van won’t be fixed until the next day. Sarah (Jade Pettyjohn), the only one in the group with no social media presence, finds them a house nearby. Shaw drives them to the house, promising to contact them when the van is fixed. One by one, each of the friends is murdered…apparent retaliation for the suicide of Collette (Siwa), a former friend of the group.

This is one of those movies that has a terrible plot, a lot of blood, and a fair amount of gore. It’s also one of those difficult to rate movies. All of the characters are terrible. But they are supposed to be terrible. That is why the entire plot happens. So…I don’t know. I can’t say that I enjoyed the movie but it’s not nearly as bad as some of the other horror movies I’ve watched. I guess if you are looking for a movie where a bunch of vapid college students get killed in weird ways…maybe you’ll enjoy it? At the very least, I don’t think you would regret watching it.

Rating: C